SURVIVAL OF THE RELATIONSHIPS

19^th century was the “Survival of the fittest” in Darwin’s theory of evolution. In 21^st century, I believe there is a question before us: How is the “Survival of the Relationships?”

The level of discord among families, colleagues, friends and individuals in our society has increased to a great extent. Disagreement and difference of opinions between people had always existed, this is not a new concept that has aroused in our society. Then what has happened over a few decades that relationships are just falling apart and is the solution so difficult to implement! 

In this article, I am going to talk about the reasons for non-survival of relationships and what are the easy solutions to it.

Trust and Truth: such powerful words are interconnected with each other: I will call them Siblings, since we are talking of relationships. We all know, how important these are in the survival of relationships, be it between families, friends or two or more individuals. I am sure that we were taught about being truthful and sincere since we were 5 years old, but as we grow into beautiful beings, we leave behind truth and trust far behind us in the pages of our moral science or value education book. 

Just ask yourself few simple questions. “am I happy being untruthful and untrustworthy? Will my relationship work this way”? What scares us most of the times, is the end result, questions like what will happen if the truth comes out? what will the society think? I don’t want to get labelled as untrustworthy and so on. 

One thing is definite, being truthful and reliable can still save the dying relationship, at least there is a chance of survival of the relationship, other way round will most probably end the link.

Mutual Respect: there will always be clash of opinions between any two individuals, in whatever way they are linked, the important point here is acceptance of this fact. Once we accept this, then we won’t try to prove ourselves right, because there will be mutual respect for each other’s opinion. This comes as a very powerful tool in taking the connection forward and long lasting. Many times what comes as an obstacle in the relationship to survive, is the urge and competition to prove oneself correct, I call this attitude as “I am always correct and I am always right” syndrome.  The solution is very simple, there is no need to enter into competition, this is relationship and not an exam where you get marks.

Love, Care and Affection: showing love and care between any two relationships, be it between two brothers, sisters, husband-wife, friends, colleagues, parent-child etc. is not only vital for survival of the relationship rather lifeline for the same. When we are young we embrace our parents, siblings, cousins, friends, show love and affection in each connection. As we grow up these connections still exist but what fades away is love and care. I know we all get so busy in our lives, there are so many relationships that we need to accommodate, that there is time constraint and showing of emotions is difficult. Well! It is only a constraint which can be prevailed over. A small gesture in any form to express love, care and affection can help a lot in survival of the relationship.

Communication: the day communication stops between any two individuals, that day association between them ends. We don’t give much weightage to this aspect for survival of the relationship, but communication in any form between two people is important. Why communication stops: misunderstanding between two people, fight over an issue, lack of interest in that person, ego clash, monetary reasons and many more. I personally feel that we should not let relationships go for trivial issues which can be sorted if we communicate with each other.  Even if, we really want to end the connection, there should be communication between the two parties to mutually end, otherwise it gives a lot of emotional pain. 

At best what can happen if two parties talk to each other, they may argue, they may part ways, they may compromise or they may mutually come to an agreement. Don’t you think it is better to communicate rather than to put full stop at the beginning itself?

Fear of Responsibility: in my personal view, in today’s time there is an apprehension to take up responsibility. With every and any relationship comes accountability and the society is fearful to take up this and I really don’t understand why. Why people are scared to enter into relationships and maintain them? There is nothing to fear off, take stride, be confident and just tell yourself, “I will see whatever happens”. Think of the worst, at the most what worst can happen in a relationship and then analyse and question yourself, “am I so weak to even try it out”?  

These are my personal views that we can implement in our lives for maintaining and surviving relationships. I don’t intend to hurt anyone’s emotions.